In exactly one week, I'll be done with my undergraduate career. Most would be so excited for this long awaited milestone...but I'm hesitant. Not because I don't want to be done with school and have to "grow up," or because I'll miss listening to a lecture about rocks for an hour and 45 minutes, or because I'll have to enter the "real world" (which I apparently haven't been living in for the past 21 years??).
I'm not really looking forward to finishing up my degree because I know what is about to come. Not that it hasn't come already; but this time, it'll be 100 times worse.
Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough? Like, no matter how hard you try or how successful/talented/smart you appear to be, you're never going to be above satisfactory? That every choice you make is frowned upon by at least 20% of your immediate social circle? And you're constantly being judged by people who say they're not judging you, but, in reality, they've already given you several labels?
Well, that's how I feel. Why? Because I've decided to take the path less traveled. While many will be able to give "acceptable" responses of what their plans are for after graduation, I'll be telling everyone that I'm going to be a missionary....for the (gulp) Catholic Church (shriek!).
Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled to be called in this area. It's something I've been discerning for many years and have always felt like I should do. I'm not at all ashamed or disappointed about what I'll be leaving to do in 3 months....but I know others are.
I've heard it all (at least I hope I've heard it all). Here are the top 3 esteem crushers:
and my favorite
It's like people don't think I can't tell that they've used their unimpressed tone when they say, "Oh, that's nice. Good for you." They think I can't see their less than thrilled facial expressions when I tell them I've chosen a path that won't lead to wealth. But hey, you can't please everyone.
It's at this point in my life where the words of my good friend Eleanor come in handy: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway."
Criticism- One of the most common ways we allow the Devil to work through us; it's one of Satan's strongest tactics. People in this world as so good at criticizing these days. If you're not part of the social norm, you're not living right. We're quick to judge and slow to accept. And that's life in 2014.
In these past few years of college, I've realized that criticism will always be present. From not having the "right" major to not choosing the "correct" thing to do after college. I've accepted that anything I do will always be wrong in somebody's eyes. And that's okay.
You see, I'm not living this life for society. I'm not living it for my parents. And I'm not living it for you, either. Heck, I'm not even living it for me! I'm living for God. And when you live your life for God, criticism is just...criticism. Because when you live your life for God, you can see the bigger picture that others can't. That doesn't mean that criticism stings any less, though, you are more prone to chuckle at people's lack of understanding for living a faith-filled life, trusting in God. But, in the end, it means that criticism doesn't have that life-altering effect on you when you, ya know, choose to outwardly live a Christian life, unashamed.
So many believe the lie that if we give our life to God, He'll call us to do the absolute worst...like be a missionary! But in reality, if we truly give our life to God and trust in His goodness, He'll give us the desires of our heart. (My desire just happened to be becoming a missionary). And that God will always provide for us if we live for Him. Always.
Many worry that I'll end up dirt poor and never get a real job, etc. But I know that God only has the best in store for me. His plans for me are greater than my own and I would be stupid to not follow His will out of fear. I'd also be stupid to be a missionary if I wasn't called to be one. But I am. So for all you "doubting Thomas's" and "Ye of little faith," in case you were wondering and haven't been able to figure it out, God called me to be a missionary (it wasn't an act of desperation) and I am not one bit worried about my future. Therefore, you shouldn't be worried about it either.
Because when you live life for God, you don't live on your own time, you're living on His. His time is in the now- the present. Not the future, not the past. So, with that, don't bother asking what I'm going to do after I'm done serving my year on NET. I have no idea--and that's okay. Because if I'm truly living on God's time, I shouldn't know; I shouldn't have life planned out. What I do know is that God has something great planned for me and that I'll probably get a good sense of what I'm supposed next when the time comes. Until then, I'll keep living in the present, trusting in His promise of grace, mercy, and unconditional love.
Life is a mystery. And when you really think about it, everything is a mystery. And that's what makes life--life! The spontaneity, the risks, the chances, the thrill of the unknown.
Besides, God doesn't call us to be successful, He calls us to be faithful.
I'm not really looking forward to finishing up my degree because I know what is about to come. Not that it hasn't come already; but this time, it'll be 100 times worse.
Do you ever feel like you're just not good enough? Like, no matter how hard you try or how successful/talented/smart you appear to be, you're never going to be above satisfactory? That every choice you make is frowned upon by at least 20% of your immediate social circle? And you're constantly being judged by people who say they're not judging you, but, in reality, they've already given you several labels?
Well, that's how I feel. Why? Because I've decided to take the path less traveled. While many will be able to give "acceptable" responses of what their plans are for after graduation, I'll be telling everyone that I'm going to be a missionary....for the (gulp) Catholic Church (shriek!).
Don't get me wrong, I'm so thrilled to be called in this area. It's something I've been discerning for many years and have always felt like I should do. I'm not at all ashamed or disappointed about what I'll be leaving to do in 3 months....but I know others are.
I've heard it all (at least I hope I've heard it all). Here are the top 3 esteem crushers:
- "She must really not know what she wants to do with her life.
- "She must not have been able to find a job."
and my favorite
- "You're not getting paid AND you have to raise money? Sounds like you were pretty desperate."
It's like people don't think I can't tell that they've used their unimpressed tone when they say, "Oh, that's nice. Good for you." They think I can't see their less than thrilled facial expressions when I tell them I've chosen a path that won't lead to wealth. But hey, you can't please everyone.
It's at this point in my life where the words of my good friend Eleanor come in handy: "Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway."
Criticism- One of the most common ways we allow the Devil to work through us; it's one of Satan's strongest tactics. People in this world as so good at criticizing these days. If you're not part of the social norm, you're not living right. We're quick to judge and slow to accept. And that's life in 2014.
In these past few years of college, I've realized that criticism will always be present. From not having the "right" major to not choosing the "correct" thing to do after college. I've accepted that anything I do will always be wrong in somebody's eyes. And that's okay.
You see, I'm not living this life for society. I'm not living it for my parents. And I'm not living it for you, either. Heck, I'm not even living it for me! I'm living for God. And when you live your life for God, criticism is just...criticism. Because when you live your life for God, you can see the bigger picture that others can't. That doesn't mean that criticism stings any less, though, you are more prone to chuckle at people's lack of understanding for living a faith-filled life, trusting in God. But, in the end, it means that criticism doesn't have that life-altering effect on you when you, ya know, choose to outwardly live a Christian life, unashamed.
So many believe the lie that if we give our life to God, He'll call us to do the absolute worst...like be a missionary! But in reality, if we truly give our life to God and trust in His goodness, He'll give us the desires of our heart. (My desire just happened to be becoming a missionary). And that God will always provide for us if we live for Him. Always.
Many worry that I'll end up dirt poor and never get a real job, etc. But I know that God only has the best in store for me. His plans for me are greater than my own and I would be stupid to not follow His will out of fear. I'd also be stupid to be a missionary if I wasn't called to be one. But I am. So for all you "doubting Thomas's" and "Ye of little faith," in case you were wondering and haven't been able to figure it out, God called me to be a missionary (it wasn't an act of desperation) and I am not one bit worried about my future. Therefore, you shouldn't be worried about it either.
Because when you live life for God, you don't live on your own time, you're living on His. His time is in the now- the present. Not the future, not the past. So, with that, don't bother asking what I'm going to do after I'm done serving my year on NET. I have no idea--and that's okay. Because if I'm truly living on God's time, I shouldn't know; I shouldn't have life planned out. What I do know is that God has something great planned for me and that I'll probably get a good sense of what I'm supposed next when the time comes. Until then, I'll keep living in the present, trusting in His promise of grace, mercy, and unconditional love.
Life is a mystery. And when you really think about it, everything is a mystery. And that's what makes life--life! The spontaneity, the risks, the chances, the thrill of the unknown.
Besides, God doesn't call us to be successful, He calls us to be faithful.
***This post wasn't just written with myself in mind, but all college students, especially those who just graduated or are about to. The questions that we're bombarded with regarding our future aren't necessary and are kind of ridiculous. I mean, who actually has their life completely figured out in their early 20's? Honestly, I don't think we should have our lives figured out by then, either. Instead, we should have goals and live life accordingly. So maybe a better question to ask a graduate is: "What are your future goals?" instead of, "What are you going to do now/ Where did you get a job?" (which implies that the next 5 years of our lives should be pretty set in stone).
So if you're a person who is curious about what one plans to do now that they've graduated, please be conscientious of the questions you choose to ask and respond in a respectful way. I know that, for some of you, this will be hard to do; but I believe that, deep down, everybody has the ability to choose not to criticize and judge.
So if you're a person who is curious about what one plans to do now that they've graduated, please be conscientious of the questions you choose to ask and respond in a respectful way. I know that, for some of you, this will be hard to do; but I believe that, deep down, everybody has the ability to choose not to criticize and judge.